It seems everyone’s got an opinion, or an explanation, or an interpretation, or some inside information, or the truth, or something close to the truth. Me too. So much stuff to get into your head.

Or is there?

Was it the Chinese? Did they really experience the misfortune of a leak from their secret Chemical facility in Wuhan? Or was it the Americans? Did the Americans break into that secret facility and grab a couple of test-tubes, and then on their way out break them over their camouflaged knees on the grass outside?

I don’t know. In Spain, at least (where I live), this idea is common currency.

But what if there is no conspiracy? What if, rather oddly, all this is to do with ‘you’? Would you be willing to accept this possibility?

Could I ask you to suspend your disbelief for a moment and ride this wave with me?

Physicists, Astrophysicists, Astronomers, Science Journalists, Geologists and the like (and I don’t mean those on the fringes) have for decades been taking about ‘vibration’. Everything vibrates! Even the smallest little part of you, which these days they call ‘Mycoplasma’ (I think). I think you get the idea – perhaps even ‘beautifully’.

Have you ever looked at the grain of a ‘wall’, or rather the way that it runs true and smooth (I mean, really looked)? Have you ever driven passed a breakers yard and noticed the sun glinting off the sharp, pointy edges of apparently dead metal? Have you ever strained your neck looking up at that building which is so high it almost defies belief? Have you ever realised that light, yes ‘sunlight’, and, in fact, any kind of light, actually is something rather more complex (not to say a little bit baffling)? Indeed the wind, just like that wall or gleaming heap of metal is nothing other than a Billion Trillion Gazillion molecules all moving around and bouncing off each other, in their own fantastic little cosmos, affected indeed by the million, trillion, kazillion other (vibrating) molecules that tickle it, like ‘earth’, water’ or ‘fire’ (I’ve mentioned ‘wind’ already), all rather happily bouncing off each other in their own little cosmos, which all rather equals one rather larger cosmos, no? Everything, but everything, ‘vibrates’. The wall wouldn’t be straight, the Breakers-Yard wouldn’t gleam, and that building could never be so high if all this stuff wasn’t (otherwise) bouncing around.

Funny old world, eh?

So, what if, given we live here amongst all this vibrating stuff, we also ‘vibrate’? What? Well, just like those ugly heaps of scrap metal or that horrible subway seat on which you sit every day, (what if) we do actually vibrate.

The point I’m trying to make is that if all of these things are actually vibrating, then aren’t we also?

I don’t need to defend this statement because it’s true! So, the point I’m really trying to make is that if all these things (that is, all things on the planet, including us) are vibrating, then, quite possibly, we have a rather valuable insight into what is going on right now on this planet.

Now, and I hope I’m not patronising you, but consider for a moment the possibility that the vibration you are producing, in every moment of your life, has a somewhat rather different effect to that produced by a chair, or a gleaming heap of scrap metal. Why? Well, because the scrap metal can’t cook (dinner, for example), it doesn’t think, it doesn’t have emotions, it doesn’t teach, it doesn’t learn, it doesn’t cheat, it doesn’t lie, it doesn’t understand loyalty, it doesn’t understand treachery, nor does it love or hate.

So, in this context, what if ‘good times’ and ‘bad times’ are ‘vibrations’? What if ‘good’ and ‘bad’ emit? – (perhaps even ‘collectively’)?  The Gazillions of little things that bounce off me are not quite the same as the Gazillion of little things that bounce off a chair. However nice that chair is!

We can’t ‘feel’ that big heap of scrap metal vibrating. Nor can we feel a wall vibrating! Or a broom, or a car (no, it’s nothing to do with the ‘gas’ you apply). That’s ‘physics’ (the vibration is too low for us to feel). But we do ‘feel’ each other. Have you ever noticed that we don’t actually ‘see’ each other? I mean, of course, we do (we see the shirt or the blouse, or the blue eyes etc), but, equally, we do not. You will never get into bed with someone who doesn’t ‘feel’ right, right? When you meet someone, like me, you ‘feel’ (or ‘sense’) that person. You see them, of course, but you take home (or not) the way they ‘feel’. I know, instantaneously, (regardless of the shirt) if you’re either happy or sad, or any of a million gradations in between.

So, if there are Trillions or Gazillions of molecules out there belonging to heaps of metal or chairs, or porcelain cups sat on saucers, then imagine how many more Trillions or Gazillions more molecules are out there that have origins in places rather more developed: for example, from places like the human mind.

Perhaps the preponderance of molecules bouncing around out there are in fact born of stone or steel or other minerals or perhaps man-made things. But should preponderance be the the definitive aspect of existence? Nah! Perhaps those born in us (in our brains and entire bodies), which contain rather less predictable characteristics, nonetheless, have rather more importance when it comes pushing the Cosmos around.

Bit spooky, no?

Bueno, imagine the world as a room. Imagine you and all of your friends are locked inside this room. Imagine you’ve all been there for what seems an eternity and nobody is saying anything (nobody is growing, developing, or blooming … etc). Rather tedious? (An understatement, perhaps). Imagine then, that you want to grow (or vibrate), just like those things that are growing on the wall in your cell – those little fungi.

All of that stuff out there can grow (vibrate) and emit, but none of it has but one/Billionth of the intelligence of those vibrations that are emitted by you, or (us)! I think this is an important point, and, indeed, moment.

Scientists do not attribute intelligence to the ‘bouncing’ or the ‘vibrating’ of things. They know it’s real, and that it is observable. However (for them), it’s also ‘random’, and so it will always be.  You can’t be a good Scientist and believe in the unbelievable.

I’m not so sure (though really I’m not interested in the vanity of Scientists). I’m fairly certain that most would dare not risk their salary or comfortable lifestyle to suggest otherwise.

Do you think that we have anything to do with this terrible Covid moment?

yo yo

lazy glacial smiles

like countless barefoot miles

swimming in a duvet glaze

through endless treacle days

swallowing your dusty sunbeams

and pampas grass and roses,

I am living in the middle of a time

that isn’t really mine,

and there you left me,

in a dry place,

one I cared not to find

a cell,

where time strums its fearful chords,

its notes and its indifferences,

And oh! the Emptiness of it all.

Generations of the Sun

Those who once rose in the north and were proud

Now are settled like the sun in the east

As streams weary

So do thoughts tire of seeing

Though still they flow


To fill our eyes and ears

To leave us in the the colour of the fulfilled

Though empty and chasing we twist

Sorry, what did you say?

Yes, sometimes I did in folly do those things

for wisdom?

for knowledge?

for sorrow?

I don’t know

or for cheering wine?

yes, maybe

what about amassing silver?

or herding still greater non-essential denials?

My God!

As eyes and delight overtake wise men

as they do fools who reason with tones scattered

so the embrace of their laughter will begin their torment

though it was always known, as was the stream,

still they will drown

penny verse

a woman once bore governance,

whom we chose to call the son,

a word,

but soon nobody could quite fathom the word,

or his father,

or their weariness,

and so,

as we fell short of glory,

a grecian misunderstanding overtook us,

and we were forced to collect the wages of our day,

the day of our wages,

and the sum of our sins,

because we had no faith at all,

they said,

we had too much boasting,

they said,

we lacked honour,

they said,

and so for centuries the trees, the flowers and all things that lived grew and died,

and the mountains continued to rise and crumble,

for new had always been new,

and would always come again,

and then,

quite suddenly,

our wings,

like eagle’s wings,


and the word question was no more a dirty word,

for there were real angels and real demons everywhere,

and there was now a present,

a future,

and a yesterday,

and there were plans that no longer went their way,

as we stole back our penny verse,

for that day,

like today,

was karma,

and they just didn’t get it

and yet it was their word,

a strange word,

a moment too,

unvarnished cafe tables

Once we hid behind thin and easy,

Behind the cigarette yellow pillars of obscurity,

Behind such clean powers of nothing and everything,

Because we loved time and the end,

We loved rain,

Summer rain,

Fuckable rain,

On café tables and coasters,

Tonguing bottles in the low streets of the sunshine quarter,

Til one day we went back,

Twenty five years or so,

Into bell-bottom infamy,

And woolen things that lived close to the skin,

Still she’d came again soon I knew it,

Because she liked to come,

Because her head was filled with touches and time,

Because she has such clear bearings in the oblong cafe of life,

. . . there was hardly a dry moment.